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If you just ran a marathon, you’re probably fairly healthy, so you should know not to eat the medal they gave you.
9 May 2019
How many computers are lost to tea each year in England?
2 May 2019
Eggs are delicious unless you think about them.
27 April 2019
If this is how Facebook protects users’ data when they are profiting in the billions, what will happen when their stock becomes junk?
25 April 2019
Does anyone actually sign up for newsletters from websites, or are these popups just designed to make us hate the web?
25 April 2019
England, just say you want to come back. We can talk it out.
22 March 2019
The breakfast of champions: three Kroger brand Advils and a Bloody Mary.
16 March 2019
People believe all sorts of crazy shit.
8 March 2019
It's weird how people have two eyes.
5 March 2019
I’m so tired of the checkout clerk asking me if I’m stocking up for a party every time I do my normal grocery shopping.
4 March 2019
Whiskey bent and hell bound
15 February 2019
In most of the world, if you empathize with your captors they call it Stockholm Syndrome. Here in Stockholm they call it a weekday.
15 February 2019
The only thing I heard all day was "Are you listening?"
14 February 2019
Do we really have to do this every day? Do we really have to spend most of our days at work, just to get food and shelter and things that everybody needs? I understand if you want really good Mexican food sometimes like I do, then it's okay to work a few hours to get something special. If you want a car that can carry your whole family, then you can work for that. But if you just want to eat and sleep, it shouldn't take so much time to earn that. People should be doing better things with their days instead of content marketing and value proposition validation.
9 February 2019

Enough emojis already

This will bring the total number of official emojis to more than 3,000. I think that’s plenty and maybe it’s time to start describing how we feel with words again.

Link: 230 New Emojis in Final List for 2019

Email would be a lot less annoying and actually quite reasonable if we all removed our signatures and automatic quoting of the previous message. Both of those features have outlived their usefulness. I’m going to do it now. 
31 January 2019
For the last goddamn time: I am not a robot.
27 January 2019
One of the great things about Sweden is that it is essentially cashless. One of the bummers about that is that I rarely get to carry around the cool 100 kr banknotes with Greta Garbo on them or the 200 kr with Ingmar Bergman.
23 January 2019
I just misspelled “social media” in a note and it was autocorrected as “apocalypse.” After almost dropping my phone in horror, I’m making a drink.
21 January 2019
“May contain traces of seafood” Whaaat? How could you not know if you put fish in it? Every time I have seen a fish – living or dead – it has freaked me out. That’s not something I would forget seeing in the kitchen.
18 January 2019
“I don’t need the fucking how-to... I was born in ‘83” –Austin Davis
16 January 2019
Maybe my soulmate is someone who has fingerprints all over her computer screen or coughs into her hands or has a broken phone screen or puts two spaces after a period or uses an Android or makes presentations with white backgrounds or uses WhatsApp. I never gave her a chance.
14 January 2019
There are so many things to know about.
11 January 2019
I just celebrated Elvis Presley’s 84th birthday by seeing “That’s the Way It Is” on the big screen here in Stockholm, Sweden. A true thrill. The last time I saw it was on VHS in the ‘90s in Kentucky. The King lives on.
8 January 2019
The great Kentucky songwriter Tom T Hall said, “You can’t have both sanity and creativity.” But I WANT both!
7 January 2019
It’s so weird when you think it’s a different time than it is.
5 January 2019

“Guess what” is not a question, it’s a command.

I have always maintained that “guess what” is not a question, it’s a command.

Have I been wrong in correcting people or is the New York Times wrong with this headline?

I have believed the phrase to be a short form of “guess what happened” or “guess what it is,” neither are questions.

Between all the workin’ and drinkin’ and sleepin’ and complainin’, I hardly have time to write songs anymore.
29 December 2018
I know that internet and social media companies are the devil. I’ve known this for a long time. I also know that things are much worse than I allowed myself to believe. Is 2019 the time for me to get out of this nonsense? Is it even possible to go analog? New York Magazine: How Much of the Internet Is Fake? Turns Out, a Lot of It, Actually.
26 December 2018
I thought my day sucked until I saw a guy on the bus with a Dell laptop working on a PowerPoint slide called “Scaled Agile Framework – Learning Objectives” on his way home from work. I guess my day wasn’t so bad after all.
19 December 2018