Amazon Prime Video is definitely something that exists that I’ve heard of
I have reached the age where I am asking, “Where the hell does SNL find these musical guests?” But then when I look them up, I find out they’re some of the most popular artists in the world.
Isn't it about time for bold and italics to come to text messaging?
America loves a trainwreck.
– Chris Elliott
Enough with the word “unprecedented”
You are the velociraptor when we thought you were the goat.
Everything that reappears has disappeared.
If I hold the door open for you, take it from me. I am not the doorman.
I’ll be impressed with mobile phone cameras when I take can take a high-quality photo of the Moon.
What ever happened to socks? I have been seeing lots of ankles for the past year or so, even in weather that does not lend itself to bare skin.
How many computers are lost to tea each year in England?
Eggs are delicious unless you think about them.
If this is how Facebook protects users’ data when they are profiting in the billions, what will happen when their stock becomes junk?
Does anyone actually sign up for newsletters from websites, or are these popups just designed to make us hate the web?
England, just say you want to come back. We can talk it out.
The breakfast of champions: three Kroger brand Advils and a Bloody Mary.
People believe all sorts of crazy shit.
It's weird how people have two eyes.
I’m so tired of the checkout clerk asking me if I’m stocking up for a party every time I do my normal grocery shopping.
Whiskey bent and hell bound
In most of the world, if you empathize with your captors they call it Stockholm Syndrome. Here in Stockholm they call it a weekday.
The only thing I heard all day was "Are you listening?"
Do we really have to do this every day? Do we really have to spend most of our days at work, just to get food and shelter and things that everybody needs? I understand if you want really good Mexican food sometimes like I do, then it's okay to work a few hours to get something special. If you want a car that can carry your whole family, then you can work for that. But if you just want to eat and sleep, it shouldn't take so much time to earn that. People should be doing better things with their days instead of content marketing and value proposition validation.
Email would be a lot less annoying and actually quite reasonable if we all removed our signatures and automatic quoting of the previous message. Both of those features have outlived their usefulness. I’m going to do it now.
If you’re wearing long pants, you should also be wearing socks. It’s that simple.
Every time I eat cheese doodles it reminds me that I don’t really like cheese doodles that much.
What ever happened to helping people and being kind?
I never would have predicted I’d spend so much of my adult life identifying which photos show traffic lights and store fronts.