I have reached the age where I am asking, “Where the hell does SNL find these musical guests?” But then when I look them up, I find out they’re some of the most popular artists in the world.
Department: Quote
You are the velociraptor when we thought you were the goat.
Everything that reappears has disappeared.
What ever happened to socks? I have been seeing lots of ankles for the past year or so, even in weather that does not lend itself to bare skin.
How many computers are lost to tea each year in England?
People believe all sorts of crazy shit.
It's weird how people have two eyes.
I’m so tired of the checkout clerk asking me if I’m stocking up for a party every time I do my normal grocery shopping.
The only thing I heard all day was "Are you listening?"
Yeah, I get it. You’re also updating your privacy policy.
For the last goddamn time: I am not a robot.
One of the great things about Sweden is that it is essentially cashless. One of the bummers about that is that I rarely get to carry around the cool 100 kr banknotes with Greta Garbo on them or the 200 kr with Ingmar Bergman.
I just misspelled “social media” in a note and it was autocorrected as “apocalypse.” After almost dropping my phone in horror, I’m making a drink.
“May contain traces of seafood” Whaaat? How could you not know if you put fish in it? Every time I have seen a fish – living or dead – it has freaked me out. That’s not something I would forget seeing in the kitchen.
“I don’t need the fucking how-to... I was born in ‘83” –Austin Davis
Maybe my soulmate is someone who has fingerprints all over her computer screen or coughs into her hands or has a broken phone screen or puts two spaces after a period or uses an Android or makes presentations with white backgrounds or uses WhatsApp. I never gave her a chance.
There are so many things to know about.
I just celebrated Elvis Presley’s 84th birthday by seeing “That’s the Way It Is” on the big screen here in Stockholm, Sweden. A true thrill. The last time I saw it was on VHS in the ‘90s in Kentucky. The King lives on.
The great Kentucky songwriter Tom T Hall said, “You can’t have both sanity and creativity.” But I WANT both!
It’s so weird when you think it’s a different time than it is.
I have always maintained that “guess what” is not a question, it’s a command. Have I been wrong […]
Between all the workin’ and drinkin’ and sleepin’ and complainin’, I hardly have time to write songs anymore.
I thought my day sucked until I saw a guy on the bus with a Dell laptop working on a PowerPoint slide called “Scaled Agile Framework – Learning Objectives” on his way home from work. I guess my day wasn’t so bad after all.
It's finally Friday, I'm free again. I got my motor running for a wild weekend. It's finally Friday, I'm out of control. Forget the workin' blues and let the good times roll.
You know those people who wear a big top hat that has biplane goggles on it – what’s that all about?
Where can I get these chill pills everyone keeps recommending I take?
I have read lots of books and articles about Apple and Steve Jobs. I don’t recall any of the main characters ever using these words: value proposition, agile, ideate, customer journey, external validation, disruption, entrepreneur, deliverables, human capital.
Despite my decades of experience washing dishes, my damage and loss rates are still too high.
Christmas... do we really have to do this EVERY year?
If you’re wearing long pants, you should also be wearing socks. It’s that simple.